I remember lying on that hospital bed, feeling anxious and impatient. Though I had routinely come to Logan Regoinal Hospital for these non-stress tests, I was apprehensive because my sweet baby girl still in utero hadn't passed the a single one of the previous tests. In fact, most times, the nurses did not even know what to tell me as they looked at the negative test results. Sometimes they would get the on-call doctor to take a look, and other times they would direct me to get other testing done, such as a bio-physical profile.
One time, my own OB/GYN, a large, unfortunate looking man named Dr. Benedict, had declared the test results "weird and creepy". I did not appreciate his confusion, or his lack of tact. He eventually told me that he didnt know what to do and sent me home.
But that is all tangential; the point is that several times a week I found myself in the same room, lying on the same bed with the same monitors attached to my belly as I read the same phrase which was stenciled above the door-way. It read, "Cherish the Little Things".
That phrase has a lot of meaning to me. Perhaps it means so much to me because that baby girl who was so confusing to all the medical personnel was born four weeks early weighing 3 lbs. 11 oz. and measuring 15 and 3/4 inches. We called her our little pixie because she was so small she almost looked like an overgrown fairy.
That phrase came back to me as I danced with my mostly blind and deaf daughter who still weighed less than 6 lbs at two months old. We were making dinner in the kitchen together; she was attached to her life-saving oxygen machine and lying in a doughnut shaped pillow on the counter as I chopped up vegetables beside her. The radio was on and I couldnt help but pick up my doll-sized baby and dance to a nostalgic, but fun loving tune. That dance in the kitchen was a little thing, but I surely cherish it.
That phrase means a lot to me becuase it sums up my feelings about motherhood, about life.
That phrase means a lot to me because it is the first thing that catches my eye when I look at her headstone.
"Cherish the Little Things"