Tuesday, May 11, 2010

Mother's Day!

Mother's Day was a really special day for me. I thoroughly enjoyed myself. Wade and I had a picnic breakfast at Ava's burial site, which we decorated with Gerber daisies. We sat up there for a long time as we talked and read books.

I felt very comforted and overjoyed to think about how safe Ava is and how much good she is doing. These pictures may seem a little light-hearted, and they are. We had lots of fun, and wanted to capture the happiness we felt.

So this is us trying to get Ava's flowers and name placard in the picture.
It took a few tries before we got it just right. I love looking at these pictures because Ava was always wearing flowers, especially daisies, on her head.

The barn and shed that you can see behind me in the background are on my mom and dad's property. I love that she looks right down on our house, and that she is always by family, even when Wade and I aren't in Morgan.
One of our sweet neighbors told me that she walks the cemetery road everyday and always stops to see Ava. And my Dad often brings up more dirt to smooth the grave as it settles. I am so grateful that she is surrounded by so many loving people.

I have often thought of pioneer moms who had to bury their precious ones wherever they happened to be. To think of using a thin shawl to wrap the child in as they tried to dig a grave in the frozen ground, and then walk away--knowing they would never be able to visit this sacred place that housed their child's body is unimaginable to me. How heartbreaking that would be. I am so grateful that I am able to re-visit this beautiful spot and remember the fun and love that we did and still do share together. I am able to care for her in a small way by being able to keep her grave clean and protected.


  1. glad you got to spend time with Ava and be with family. Happy Mother's day.

  2. I thought about you on Mother's Day and wondered how things were going. So glad to hear it was a good day!

  3. Awesome post. Thanks for sharing! We will be up in Utah the first Sunday in August. We should try to get together. I know Kelsey would love to.

  4. Happy Mothers Day Jess. You are truly one of the most amazing mothers that I know. I know life must seem so difficult. But I really appreciate how you value "the little things" and keep Ava's memory so close in your heart. She really is in a beautiful cemetery, and I'm glad you got to visit there on Mother's Day. It looks like you had such a positive experience, which is definitely a reason to be thankful. Thanks for being so positive. It gives me reason to hope.

  5. Hi--I don't know you, but my sister in law, Erin Housley, told me of your blog. I feel so much love for you for what you and your husband went through and am also very saddened that you had to experience that. I too went through a heart breaking experience--we learned around 14 weeks that our baby girl had Turner's Syndrome and that coincidentally I had a 1% chance of carrying to full term. Sure enough, at 20 weeks, that there was no longer a heartbeat and that I would have to deliver our baby girl. While that was definitely not a fun experience, I feel, like you, that I needed the experience and that it probably taught me more. I am grateful to have read your story and grateful that you have such a positive, Christlike attitude towards what you were faced with. Like you, I will always remember our angel and will always strive to be better because of her. I pray for you as you continue on your journey of learning and loving and growing closer to the Savior.